


Denial

by zetsubousei (popnographic)



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post-Despair, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, amputation mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-18 17:45:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3578316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popnographic/pseuds/zetsubousei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hajime wants to forget, but Nagito doesn't want him to.</p><p>(A short ficlet set in an AU where Komaeda actually <b>wakes up</b> from his coma. I refuse to believe that he, and the others, won't. I have hope. Sorta.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial

Hajime goes through the same routine every morning and has done so for such a long time that he doesn't even think about it anymore. Well, there are times where he stops and looks at himself in the mirror, noticing that his light-blond, almost white, hair is starting to grow out and he's reminded that he needs to dye his hair again soon. His hair grows too fast, and it's rather inconvenient having to dye it so often. Not to mention expensive.

The hair colour he hides under that brown dye resembles Nagito's, although Nagito's hair has a more light grey-ish tone to it that you only notice once you stand really close. Hajime gets to do that often, so it's something he's noticed a long time ago. They've lived together for a few months now, but it's been far longer than that since Nagito woke up from his coma. Almost everyone's woken up by now, and it's really stumped the people at the Future Foundation who initially told them that there was almost no chance of them ever waking up from said comatose state.

But Nagito's here with him now, living in the same apartment as him. At first, Hajime had been beyond conflicted. His relationship with the other boy had been very complicated when they were on Jabberwock Island. Well, the virtual reality of it, at least. Before Nagito was cleared from the 'safety check' — which Hajime refers to as 'the test to see if Nagito's actually insane or not' — he lived at the Future Foundation quarters while Hajime lived alone in the apartment the two of them now share.

Getting the apartment in the first place hadn't been an easy task. Towa City is immensely popular to live in, and had it not been for the help of Byakuya Togami, Hajime would've probably lived with one of those guys. It's not that he doesn't  _like_ them, he just doesn't want to impose on them, and just live on his own instead. After all he's been through, that's all he wants. Living with Nagito was something he initially thought was going to be the exact opposite of peace and quiet, but strangely enough, that's actually what he got in the end. Well, for the most part.

Hajime stands in front of the bathroom mirror and puts in his lenses. It'd been quite an ordeal when he had to first get them in as he's never had to wear lenses before, and it literally took him about an hour to dare putting the first lens in. If Nagito had been around to see it, he'd never let Hajime live it down, that's for sure. He's gotten used to it now, and sometimes he remembers it in the middle of the day, wondering if he actually put his lenses in or not. But when he sees his own reflection and a pair of hazel eyes stare back at him, he knows.

"Hajime? Why are you taking so long?"

Nagito's voice reaches him from outside, probably the living room. He sighs in resignation and leaves the bathroom. Nagito's sprawled out on the couch, lazily flipping through the channels on their TV, but he obviously doesn't seem to find something that catches his attention. Hajime pulls Nagito's legs up so he can make some room for himself, before he puts Nagito's legs back down over his lap.

"Are you okay?"

Hajime looks at Nagito, who's propped up his chin on his hand, the elbow resting on the couch. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You're a terrible liar and you know it", Nagito sing-songs. "It's the hair, isn't it? If I notice it, I'm sure you do, too."

Nagito has a way of being almost too direct with his words, but it's something Hajime's gotten used to recently. He knows the other doesn't mean any harm by it, that's just the way he is and probably always has been. To be fair, Nagito hasn't really been good with people to begin with, so this is probably to be expected, as sort of a bi-product of his inability to socialise and make friends.

Hajime doesn't look at his boyfriend, but instead keeps his eyes stubbornly at the screen in front of him. "Kind of", he mutters.

"Kind of?" Nagito prompts, and Hajime sighs in annoyance.

"Okay, yes, it is. It's the hair. And the eyes. And the fact that it had to happen in the first place. I didn't ask for this."

"But you dye your hair", Nagito begins as he sits up, his legs still crossing Hajime's. "And you wear lenses. So why does it bother you?"

"Because that's what I have to do so it won't remind me of  _that_!" Hajime retorts in a voice that is unnecessarily loud and angry. He immediately regrets it and sighs before starting over. "Sorry. I just... I don't want to have to do this to get rid of it."

Nagito hums. He turns off the TV before he takes his legs off of Hajime's lap, proceeding to pull the other boy towards him and lean Hajime's head against his chest.

"At least your changes weren't self-inflicted", he says, and Hajime immediately feels guilty for having continued the conversation, bringing this up. It must be difficult for Nagito to remember and deal with every day, especially since he has an entire _hand_ missing since then.

"I didn't mean it like that", Hajime replies hurriedly. "It's just that—"

"It's fine", Nagito reassures him, nuzzling his nose into Hajime's hair, which he isn't sure if he likes or not, but doesn't say anything about. "Do you  _have_ to get rid of it?"

The fake-brunet flinches, looking up at Nagito like he's just offended Hajime's entire bloodline.

"Of course I do. I don't want to be reminded of what happened to us, and since all I really have to do is dye my hair and use lenses, I shouldn't complain. Yet I do."

"I think you should just accept it. Come to terms with it", Nagito suggests. "It's part of you, and it's not really anything that's changed who you are as a person. It's just superficial, really. And if you keep dyeing your hair regularly like that, I don't think you'll be able to keep your hair on your head for long. All those chemicals can't possibly be good."

Hajime chews on the inside of his cheek. "What about the lenses, then?"

"They probably don't aren't much of a health risk as much as hair dye is. And while I think your new eye colour is interesting, well... I like the green you used to have, too. I don't mind either way. Besides... I don't think you should forget what happened at Jabberwock. I don't want to, and it's not because I particularly enjoyed myself", Nagito says and shrugs.

"But you did."

Nagito frowns a little. "I wouldn't say _enjoyed_ it. I did what I had to do in order to achieve true hope, and my methods may not have been the... shall I say best ones to use. But I think it's important not just for you and me, but for everyone else to always remember what happened. It taught me a bunch of valuable things, and I'm sure you feel the same. Am I right?"

Hajime doesn't really want to admit it, but he knows his boyfriend is right in what he's saying, as ludicrous as that may sound, coming from someone who initially didn't want to believe in anything that came out of Nagito Komaeda's mouth. There are a lot of things Hajime has learnt not only about himself but others around him during and after Jabberwock, and overlooking the superficial changes of himself, he's quite glad things turned out the way they did considering that they'd all gone through.

"Yeah", he replies reluctantly. "You might be right about that... I think."

"It's not often I get to hear that", his boyfriend says with a little laugh. "I'm glad, though."

 

* * *

 

Hajime stares up at the ceiling, even though he can't really see it due to the room being completely dark, all lights out and the curtains drawn. He's pretty sure Nagito's fallen asleep by now; the other boy usually doesn't have trouble with falling asleep. Hajime often does, and sometimes when he actually manages to fall asleep early, he has nightmares. For the most part, he can't really make out what's actually happening in them, but even so, he always wakes up covered in sweat and shaking.

The Future Foundation had told them about this when they were first taken out of the virtual reality that Junko Enoshima had trapped them in; that they would probably suffer from gruesome nightmares for quite some time. But they did go see therapists regularly, and Hajime hoped that he'd one day be free of the hell that was caused by that despair-crazed girl who infiltrated Hope's Peak all those years ago.

"Nagito?" he whispers, hoping that the other hasn't fallen asleep yet. He's still thinking about the conversation they had earlier, and he's still conflicted in giving up the whole idea of masking what he actually looks like nowadays. Giving up the hair dye and lenses and just letting his light blond hair grow out, show his creepily red eyes to the public. It still feels like some kind of sick joke Enoshima pulled on him as a last thing before she completely disappeared, but for what reason, he doesn't know.

"Yes, Hajime?"

Nagito replies after less than a second, and Hajime feels a little relieved. "Thanks. For being here, and for tolerating me."

"I could say the same to you", his boyfriend replies, a smile evident in his voice even though Hajime can't see it through the darkness. "I can't imagine your days being all that peaceful with someone like me around you all the time. So thank you, too."

Hajime wants to say something back regarding the whole ' _someone like me_ ' comment that Nagito still hasn't gotten rid of, but refrains from doing so. Instead, he just sighs.

"We'll do fine, Hajime. As long as we have hope."

This time, Hajime can't help but laugh. "I knew you'd say that."


End file.
